Even Jimmy Kimmel is mocking Prince Harry’s now-viral story of his frostbitten penis and the Elizabeth Arden cream he slathered on it.

An excerpt from the British royal’s memoir “Spare” started making the rounds on social media as readers were shocked that the Duke of Sussex would share such a personal story. Prince Harry recalled the incident that occurred following an arctic expedition in 2011, just ahead of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s royal wedding. 

“My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized,” Prince Harry reads aloud in the audiobook. “I had been trying some home remedies, including one recommended by a friend. She’d urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream. ‘My mom used that on her lips. You want me to put that on my todger?’ ‘It works, Harry. Trust me,’” he continued.

“I found a tube, and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time,” Harry continued. “I felt as if my mother was right there in the room. Then I took a smidge and applied it … down there. ‘Weird’ doesn’t really do the feeling justice.”

On Monday night, Kimmel debuted a spoof children’s book making fun of Harry’s confession called “The Prince and the Penis.” The illustrated book featured a cartoon image of Prince Harry and an oversized depiction of a male sex organ donning a winter coat and toboggan cap. 

Prince Harry’s book is so popular, they made a version for kids! #ThePrinceAndThePenis pic.twitter.com/mV0Sfy4REL

— Jimmy Kimmel Live (@JimmyKimmelLive) January 17, 2023

“At the chilly North Pole, a silly young codger took a walk in the snow and froze his wee todger,” the parody begins. “The skin was discolored, all purple and white, when Harry peered down, ‘twas a terrible fright! Oh mummy, oh mummy, he cried with a scream, and from then on she appeared with some cream,” the book continues, showing a version of Princess Diana up in the clouds.

“My poor little prince, put this cream on your willy, it will lessen the ache and make it less chilly. But mummy, did you not put this on your lips? Oh yes my dear boy, and also my nips,” the book goes on. 

“But do not delay or your knob be destroyed. But mummy, have you heard about Sir Sigmund Freud?”

The spoof book ends with a cartoon of Princess Diana saving Harry’s penis with the cream before disappearing into the clouds.

“And everyone lived happily ever after, in a castle next to Oprah’s house,” Kimmel quipped.

Harry has mentioned the story on various late-night shows while promoting “Spare.” The royal told Stephen Colbert, “When you’re walking you’re hot and you’re trying not to sweat because the sweat freezes and once it’s numb you don’t know the pain.”

He said he didn’t realize the extent of the issue until weeks later. Prince Harry said there was “nothing visible, nothing obvious, it was a slow deteriorating situation.”

Elon Musk, the entrepreneur who serves as CEO of Space X, Tesla, and Twitter, reacted harshly after Klaus Schwab, the chairman of the World Economic Forum, preached at the WEF’s summit about an attempt to “master the future.”

Schwab, the world’s leading proponent of “stakeholder capitalism,” made his remarks while at an awards ceremony for “cultural leaders” who have worked to promote things like climate change.

“We couldn’t meet at a more challenging time,” Schwab declared. “We are confronted with so many crises simultaneously. What does it need to master the future? I think to have a platform, where all stakeholders of global society are engaged; governments, business, civil society, young generation, and I could go on, I think is a first step to meet all the challenges.”

Musk lacerated Schwab and his cobelligerents, tweeting, “‘Master the Future’ doesn’t sound ominous at all. How is WEF/Davos even a thing? Are they trying to be the boss of Earth!?”

“Master the Future” doesn’t sound ominous at all … 🙄

How is WEF/Davos even a thing? Are they trying to be the boss of Earth!?

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 17, 2023

The WEF, which was founded by Schwab, states that its mission is to “demonstrate entrepreneurship in the global public interest while upholding the highest standards of governance. … Our activities are shaped by a unique institutional culture founded on the stakeholder theory, which asserts that an organization is accountable to all parts of society.”

That, in essence, means corporations are no longer accountable to their shareholders, instead serving “societal aspirations,” as the the Davos Manifesto acknowledges.

During the WEF’s meeting, American leaders have reportedly enjoyed a lavish lunch with some of the planet’s most powerful corporate leaders and Schwab.

Officials such as Gov. Brian Kemp (R-GA), Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (I-AZ), Sen. Chris Coons (D-DE), and “a few members of the House of Representatives” took part in a luncheon at the conference alongside prominent executives on Monday, according to a report from CNBC.

One attendee told the outlet that Coons and Manchin each addressed the crowd of business leaders. Coons reportedly discussed efforts to fund the Ukrainian war effort against Russia, while Manchin commented on the merits of American energy independence.

Coons told the outlet that “about 50 CEOs” would attend the luncheon at the Hotel Schatzalp, a property situated in the Alps and decorated in belle époque style. Among the executives in attendance at the lunch was Hewlett Packard Enterprise CEO Antonio Neri.

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