Biden puts his fate, and maybe the nation's, in the hands of Hunter

In the wake of last week’s debate debacle, President Joe Biden must face the biggest question of his long, long political career. And whose sage counsel is he seeking, according to The New York Times? Who is his Oracle of Delphi?

None other than his crack-smoking, prostitute-loving, tax cheat son, Hunter.

That’s right, the fate of the most powerful nation on earth sits in the hands of a guy who accidentally left a laptop brimming with crimes and evidence of influence peddling at a Delaware laptop repair shop.

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On Sunday, the Biden brood had a family gathering to decide if Grandpa Joe should stay in the 2024 presidential race, because, you see, this is really all about them, not the American people. We’re just here to pay for their lavish lifestyles.

Oh, to be a fly on the Camp David walls, hearing the learned Hunter Biden tell the big guy, "So what if you can only work from 10 am to 4 pm? Nighttime is for partying not politics," or some such Churchillian pearl of wisdom.

The president has long claimed that his youngest son is the smartest man that he knows. This is not only an insult to literally everyone else Joe Biden has ever met, but frankly, just a completely ludicrous statement.

Then, of course, there is Hunter’s firm moral fiber.

In one of the very few cogent lines Biden managed to utter in the debate, he said Trump had the "morals of an alley cat," for allegedly sleeping with a porn star. But Hunter IS a porn star, regularly filming himself having sex the way most of us take selfies at a birthday party.

There is also the slight matter of convicted felon Hunter’s interest in making sure his dad keeps the power to pardon him or commute his sentence. Sure, the Big Guy said he wouldn’t do that, but who knows if he even remembers that pledge?

Rest assured though, America, it is not only the former Burisma board member and influential modern artist Hunter who is in the executive cockpit, there is also Jill Biden, who every day makes Lady Macbeth look more and more like Mother Theresa.

On Monday, as the controversy over Biden’s empty noggin continued to swirl, the first lady appeared on the cover of Vogue, in gleaming white, with the caption, "We Will Decide Our Future."

With all the subtlety of a West Virginia backyard fireworks display, Jill Biden is sending a message to us peons: The Bidens come first, even if it means dragging her husband through a gauntlet of abject humiliation.

It really is starting to look like elder abuse, forcing a faltering old man into official and campaign events when he should be perusing the early bird specials at Denny’s.

Maybe it is sweet in a conniving and grifty kind of way that Biden’s family so loves and supports the head of the clan, whose "public service," also just happens to be the only source of their fabulous wealth.

A new poll shows that 72 percent of Americans think Biden should drop out of the presidential race. This is mostly owing to the fact that they have eyes and ears, so it's clear to them that he barely has the wherewithal to be a Walmart greeter, let alone leader of the free world.

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So, while it may be lovely that the White House Waltons held a family meeting and John Boy gave Pa a hug, that doesn’t change the fact that lean and hungry Democrats like Gretchen Whitmer are spinning knives like circus jugglers.

Reportedly, the Michigan governor told the Biden camp that her swing state, and likely the election, is lost if old man Joe stays on the ballot. I wonder if Gretchen has a replacement in mind?

And what of Kamala Harris? Is her loyalty to Biden so ironclad that she would forgo a chance to be the first woman ever to hold the office of president? Color me dubious on that one.

What Machievellian machinations we may see between now and the Democratic National Convention will unfold in their own good time, but for now, Americans can feel safe and secure in one thing. The fate of the country is in Hunter and Jill Biden’s hands.

And if that doesn’t send a chill up your spine, then I don’t know what will.

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Gaza militants fire rockets into Israel as tank advances intensify in north and south

The Palestinian Islamic Jihad group fired a barrage of rockets into Israel on Monday, in an apparent show of force as Israeli tanks pressed their advance deeper into Gaza amid fierce fighting, residents and officials said.

The armed wing of Islamic Jihad, an Iranian-backed ally of Hamas, said its fighters fired rockets towards several Israeli settlements near the fence with Gaza in response to "the crimes of the Zionist enemy against our Palestinian people".

The volley of around 20 rockets caused no casualties, according to the Israeli military. But it showed militants still possess rocket capabilities almost nine months into Israel's offensive it says is aimed at neutralizing threats against it.

ISRAEL, HEZBOLLAH ON 'BRINK' OF ALL-OUT WAR, OFFICIALS WARN

In some parts of Gaza, militants continue to stage attacks on Israeli forces in areas that the army had left months ago.

On Monday, Israeli tanks deepened their incursions into the Shejaia suburb in eastern Gaza City for a fifth day, and tanks advanced further in western and central Rafah, in southern Gaza near the border with Egypt, residents said.

The Israeli military said it had killed a number of militants in combat in Shejaia on Monday and found large amounts of weapons there.

Hamas said that, in Rafah, its militants lured an Israeli force into a booby-trapped house in the east of the city and then blew it up, causing casualties.

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Also in Rafah, the Israeli military said that an airstrike killed a militant who fired an anti-tank missile at its troops.

Israel has signaled that its operation in Rafah, meant to stamp out Hamas, will soon be concluded. After the intense phase of the war is over, its forces will focus on smaller scale operations meant to stop Hamas reassembling, officials say.

The war began when Hamas-led fighters burst into southern Israel on Oct. 7, killed 1,200 people and took around 250 hostages, including civilians and soldiers, back into Gaza, according to Israeli tallies.

Israel's air, ground and naval counteroffensive has so far killed nearly 38,000 people, according to the Gaza health ministry, and has left the heavily built-up coastal enclave in ruins.

The Gaza health ministry does not distinguish between combatants and non-combatants, but officials say most the dead are civilians. Israel has lost 316 soldiers in Gaza and says at least a third of the Palestinian dead are fighters.

Arab mediators' efforts to secure a ceasefire, backed by the United States, have stalled. Hamas says any deal must end the war and bring a full Israeli withdrawal from Gaza. Israel says it will accept only temporary pauses in the fighting until Hamas, which has governed Gaza since 2007, is eradicated.

Israeli authorities released 54 Palestinians it had detained during the war, Palestinian border officials said.

Among them was Mohammad Abu Selmeyah, the director of Al Shifa Hospital, arrested by the military when its forces first stormed the medical facility in November.

Israel said Hamas had been using the hospital for military purposes. The military has released the hospital's CCTV footage from Oct. 7 showing gunmen and hostages on the premises and has taken journalists into a tunnel found at the complex.

Hamas has repeatedly denied using hospitals for military purposes. Abu Selmeyah rejected the allegations on Monday and said detainees had been abused during their detention, including being deprived of food and medicine and that some had died.

"I was subjected to severe torture, my little finger was broken, and I was beaten in the head until blood came out, more than once," Abu Selmeyah told a press conference at Al-Aqsa Hospital in Deir Al-Balah.

Israel in May said it was investigating the deaths of Palestinians captured during the war as well as a military-run detention camp where released detainees and rights groups have alleged abuse of inmates.

The military did not immediately comment on Abu Selmeyah's remarks.