It’s Time To Treat Porn Addiction As We Do Drug Addiction

Question of the day: Do you or somebody you love suffer from porn addiction? 

That addiction is ruining marriages and relationships, and porn has never been more abundant.

I was thinking about this topic this morning because I saw an article pertaining to Sandra Bullock’s ex, Jesse James. They had what seemed to be a very beautiful marriage, albeit an unlikely one. Bullock is this very beautiful, glamorous woman — one of the rare celebrities who doesn’t seem to make everybody angry. He was kind of like the Beast with Belle in “Beauty & The Beast” — a little rough around the edges.

Then it turned out he was a serial cheater. He reportedly received sex addiction treatment, and the two divorced. Bullock handled it very well and privately. She moved on in her life.

Now, James is back in the news because his new, pregnant wife has accused him of cheating. It seems he has cheated on everybody has ever dated or married.

Recently, in June of this year, he fell in love with a former porn star whose stage name is Bonnie Rotten.

The two were happily married in a backyard wedding in Texas in June.

Recently, Rotten posted on Instagram a series of stories about her accusations. She also said she knew people would laugh at her because of James’ history.

My first inkling when I heard this was to say, ‘what are we even talking about?’ He’s a truly disgusting human being. How could she marry him in the first place?

Then, I felt tremendous sympathy for her because the idea of being ten weeks pregnant and newlywed only to discover that your husband is having multiple affairs is awful.

That is difficult for any person to go through. As you guys know, if you have listened to my podcast, I am tremendously sympathetic to porn stars — especially, after I had a conversation with a former porn star who turned his life around and became a Christian pastor.

As he explained, a lot of these women who get into porn are desperate individuals. They come from impoverished and/or abusive backgrounds. Selling their body as a last resort. A lot of them are addicted to drugs, which is why they go into porn for fast cash. They also have a tremendously high suicide rate — which to me is very sad.

However, every time I come across a story about a man who has a sex addiction my instinct is to be repulsed. This is doubly true when that man is married. It makes me want to puke.

Our instinct, whether it’s sex or porn addiction, is to dismiss it as disgusting and nothing more.

You’re having sex with a bunch of different partners or you’re watching hours of sex online.

Most people are grossed out by that and shun the addicts.

Yet, we feel differently when we talk about opioid addicts or alcoholics or most other vices that lead to addiction. We want them to get better, right? We’re not so dismissive of those folks.

We need to change how we treat sex or porn addiction. So, when I read this article about James, the first thing that I said to my producer is, I’d like to get him on to my monthly series “Taboo” to have a long-form discussion.

Clearly, this man is suffering. He’s sick in some way. I don’t say that in a way to denigrate his character whatsoever.

He isn’t alone. 

Along the same line, sadly many young boys and men suffer from porn addiction. It is very easy for a guy to follow an Instagram model and then click away for something more hardcore.

So they start watching pornography in just a few short clicks. Then, the next day they just jump right to the porn website instead of going to Instagram. Their interests get more and more graphic.

That leads to pornographic addiction. They don’t discuss it with anybody because they’re ashamed.

Based on the discussions that I’m having with so many people, that problem is more abundant than society realizes. Despite that, we keep treating these people as deviants and don’t offer help.

We need to stop that. I want to be among the first people to stop it.

I want people — especially the men and women watching this show — not to feel like we can’t ever discuss porn addiction. It is a true illness. 

We need to recognize how often our ‘sex appeal’ driven marketing or the content on social media helps drive this addiction. So many are complicit in this porn addiction. That isn’t to say we need to have sympathy for those who watch porn or excuse it in any way, but a lot of these individuals are victims of this addiction.

We need to have the conversation openly so we can help end these tragic addictions.

It’s not going to get better if we keep treating these people like they are scars on our society.

Man Arrested And Charged In Murder Of Rapper Takeoff

Police have arrested two people in connection with the fatal shooting of rapper Takeoff, who was killed outside of a bowling alley in Houston last month.

During a press conference on Friday, the Houston Police Department announced that 33-year-old Patrick Xavier Clark was arrested on Thursday and charged with murder for Takeoff’s death. Cameron Joshua, 22, was arrested on November 22 on a charge of felony possession of a weapon, according to Houston Police Chief Troy Finner. Joshua is not believed to have fired a weapon during the shooting.

“I’m glad that a suspect has been arrested and charged with Takeoff’s death,” said Mayor Sylvester Turner, who attended the presser. “I think we’re bringing some comfort to the family, though it does not bring Takeoff back.”

Takeoff, real name Kirshnik Khari Ball, was shot dead after a fight broke out at Billiards & Bowling Houston after 1:00 a.m. on November 1. The rapper, 28, was struck in the head and torso.

“I want to express my regret and disappointment that this was a case of another young man taking the life of another young man for no reason,” Turner said.

The Democrat mayor further attributed the death to gun violence. “The gun violence everywhere, not just in the city of Houston, has to stop,” he explained. “Pulling a firearm can have deadly consequences that you cannot undo.”

Police said around 40 people were present at the time of the shooting, and two guns went off during the incident. Two others were hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries, reports the Associated Press.

Video obtained by TMZ shows Quavo — a fellow rapper and member of the rap trio Migos — along with Takeoff and many others arguing before shots are fired and the group scatters.

Finner said the day after the shooting that there was “no reason to believe he was involved in anything criminal at the time.”

Takeoff is one of three in the rap group Migos, which rose to fame with the hit song “Versace” in 2013 and then topped the charts again with the 2016 rap song “Bad and Boujee.” That song was later certified four times platinum by RIAA, though Takeoff is not credited on the song and can only be seen in the background of the music video.

Takeoff and other Migo member Quavo release a joint album, “Only Built for Infinity Links,” just weeks before Takeoff’s death.