There was a broad spectrum of political takes over which Republican presidential candidate performed best during the first primary debate this week in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

The debate event featured strong moments from most of the candidates on stage, but polling, post-debate focus groups, and online reactions showed that Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, pharmaceutical executive Vivek Ramaswamy, and former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley generated the most interest from the debate.

Former Vice President Mike Pence drew mixed reviews, Sen. Tim Scott (S-SC) had a couple positive moments but was criticized for not really rising to the moment, and former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie leveled hard hits against Ramaswamy, but later seemed to turn off voters with his comments about former President Donald Trump.

North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum managed to tough his way through the two-hour event after suffering a leg injury beforehand that required a trip to the hospital, and the audience largely went silent or booed when former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson spoke.

Some of the top reactions on social media, radio, and television included:

DeSantis earned praise from some high-profile TV personalities, including Sean Hannity, Ari Fleischer, Howard Kurtz, and Kayleigh McEnany, particularly for what he said about securing the border, using the military to take on the cartels, and removing woke prosecutors from office in Florida.

Radio and television host Mark Levin, who is an ardent Trump defender, said that he believes DeSantis came out on top because he was the only one on the stage who has actually “led a revolution.”

“Why did Ron DeSantis win that debate?” Levin asked on radio. “He was respectful. He was decent. He came across to me like an Ohioan. Like the blue collar gentleman he says he is, and how he was raised. But even more why? That’s not enough, right? Because the man has already led a revolution. He doesn’t talk about the revolution he’s going to lead.”

Without using his name, Levin said that Ramaswamy could only “talk about” his plans despite “not really [being] invested in grassroots efforts or anything like that.” DeSantis “will muscle his way through the system and he will beat the system.”

Mark Levin, who is a staunch Trump supporter, explains why Ron DeSantis won the debate — and slams Ramaswamy:

“The man has already led a revolution. He doesn't talk about the revolution he's going to lead.”
pic.twitter.com/wfFuFxUdyR

— Giancarlo Sopo (@GiancarloSopo) August 25, 2023

Ramaswamy got the most attention during the debate in large part due to several heated clashes with other candidates, including Haley, Pence, and Christie. He also delivered several lines over the course of the night that drew strong applause from the lively audience.

Reaction to his performance from pundits and politicos was largely split — many people felt he did well and had a lot of energy while others criticized some of the personal swipes he took at people. He received the most praise from the diehard Trump surrogates.

The 38-year-old received the most praise for bringing up the issue of fatherlessness in the U.S. and for his answer on education.

DeSantis and Vivek back-to-back are the two best answers on education ever given at a GOP presidential debate.

— Steve Deace (@SteveDeaceShow) August 24, 2023

Vivek: "The nuclear family is the greatest form of governance known to mankind." 🔥🔥👏👏#GOPDebate

— steve hilton (@SteveHiltonx) August 24, 2023

Haley saw the largest bump from the debate because she was largely viewed as having over-performed compared to what people expected from her.

Haley was praised for one moment where she went hard after Ramaswamy over his foreign policy views, and for what she said about men competing in women’s sports.

She also made headlines for her argument for Republicans to take a more practical approach on abortion, arguing that the current political landscape and power balance in Washington makes a hardline stance on the issue untenable and a more measured, compromise-minded approach would be more effective.

Haley: biological boys do not belong in girls’ locker rooms. SO SIMPLE, SO TRUE

— Megyn Kelly (@megynkelly) August 24, 2023

Ramaswamy is drowned out by applause for Haley dunking on him pic.twitter.com/lvMwXQxZJk

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 24, 2023

Pence, Scott, and Christie all earned mixed reviews.

Everybody on stage basically accomplished his/her her goal last night.

DeSantis avoided the fire.
Vivek gained attention.
Haley picked up steam in the Traditional GOP lane.
Christie solidified the Never Trump lane.
Pence defended his legacy.

And Trump is still 40 points ahead.

— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) August 24, 2023

DeSantis- Did well with several good lines. Came out unscathed after high expectations.
Haley- Overperformed.
Scott- Underperformed/disappeared
Pence- Just a bad performance
VivekGPT- Biggest loser on stage. Exposed repeatedly as unlikable and inauthentic.

Christie’s skill is…

— AG (@AGHamilton29) August 24, 2023

Does anyone else think Tim Scott and Nikki Haley sounded like empty shells at the debate? They’re clearly the establishment picks. Pence, I think, is generally a good person but he’s completely misguided about everything, and Christie is obese, is running just to torpedo Trump,…

— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) August 24, 2023

Normal people watched the debate and thought:@RonDeSantis – Calm, confident, competent.
Vivek – Too young, to aggressive, and too eager for massive changes he’s not experienced enough to oversee.
Haley – An angry scold.
Pence – A jerk, which we did not expect or like. Stop…

— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) August 24, 2023

The Department of Justice has appointed Federal Prosecutor David Weiss as Special Counsel so he can oversee the botched Hunter Biden investigation run by Federal Prosecutor David Weiss. David Weiss’s meandering years-long investigation allowed the statute of limitations to run out on major charges against Hunter before resulting in a sweetheart plea deal that immediately imploded on cursory examination in court and now David Weiss has been assigned to oversee David Weiss to make sure David Weiss didn’t get up to some kind of funny business. Because Federal Prosecutor David Weiss is a federal employee answerable to Hunter’s father Joe Biden, DOJ regulations require the special counsel overseeing Federal Prosecutor David Weiss should be someone outside the federal government, like Federal Prosecutor David Weiss.

Attorney General Merrick “Joey Bananas” Garland says he appointed David Weiss to oversee David Weiss in hopes of restoring the public’s diminishing trust in the integrity of the DOJ through a blatantly cynical cover-up that will spit a phlegm-gob of unbridled power and corruption in the public’s eye thereby blinding them to the blatant cynicism, unbridled power and corruption that have diminished public trust in the DOJ.

Special Counsel David Weiss is said to have already begun his oversight of Federal Prosecutor David Weiss by having David Weiss question David Weiss in an old dark house that looms behind the DOJ building on Pennsylvania Avenue, where witnesses say they have heard two distinct voices engaging in the interrogation.

Special Counsel David Weiss, speaking in a high-pitched voice, said: “Listen to me, boy, I won’t have this sort of corruption going on in my Justice Department.”

To which Federal Prosecutor David Weiss replied, “Oh my God, Mother. Blood! Blood!” 

Congressional investigators later determined this to be an obscure and overly elaborate “Psycho” joke that most of the audience won’t get but is still too funny to cut out.

The investigators then went down to the root cellar where they found a preserved corpse sitting in a rocking chair and returned him to the White House.

Addressing the Hunter Biden investigation, President and Venal Houseplant Joe Biden said there was not a single shred of evidence that he himself had participated in his son’s influence peddling schemes aside from his repeated calls on speaker phone during the course of Hunter’s meetings, lunches and dinners with shady foreign nationals, the fact that Hunter paid his father’s bills out of his ill-gotten gains and then gave him 10% of the take, and of course repeated emails to Biden accounts with suspicious fake names like Doddering Corrupto at Gmail.com and Surly McVenal at AOL.com.

The President made his remarks on the island of Maui where he awoke suddenly to find himself making a speech to a group of people who looked kind of sad for some reason. Assuming his famed role of empathetic comforter-in-chief, the president said,“What’s everyone so down about? Come on, put on a happy face, Bidenomics is working. And hey, what’s all this mess everywhere? I thought Hawaii was supposed to be nice but this place is a dump.”When told that there had been a horrific once-in-a-century fire and hundreds of local people might never see their loved ones again, the president added,“You think that’s bad? I once had a kitchen fire that could have spread and damaged my ‘67 Corvette. After all, a Hawaiian is only a Hawaiian, but a good Corvette is a drive.” 

The president then dozed off again because, he said, he finds sad people sort of boring.

The absolutely fair-minded news media welcomed word that the totally honest Special Counsel David Weiss would be overseeing the also totally honest Federal Prosecutor David Weiss during his completely unbiased investigation of the thoroughly innocent President Biden’s totally unsuspicious dealings with an influence peddling crack cocaine addict who was selling Joe’s name for millions of dollars and sending him 10% of the take. Eugene Robinson of the Washington Post, where Democracy dies in the ideological corruption of Eugene Robinson of the Washington Post, said, “When I look at Joe Biden I see a loving father and strong leader because I am blinded by my ideological corruption.”

Robinson was immediately appointed Special Counsel to oversee Special Counsel David Weiss.

Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. He is an award-winning novelist, Hollywood screenwriter, and popular satirist. Klavan is the author of “When Christmas Comes” and “Strange Habit of Mind,” the first two novels in the USA Today best-selling Cameron Winter Mystery series. The third installment, “The House of Love and Death,” releases on October 31, 2023, and is now available for Pre-order.

Follow Klavan on Twitter: @andrewklavan

This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.”

The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.