The European Union fined Elon Musk’s X $140 million on Friday as the bloc targets American social media companies under its expansive internet accountability regulations.

The European Commission, which is the European Union’s executive branch, accused Elon Musk’s company of deceiving its users, failing to meet advertising transparency requirements, and failing to give researchers access to the platform’s data. The commission argues that X violated its Digital Services Act, regulations put into place in 2022 that are designed to clamp down on what it views as illegal content and misinformation on social media.

Before the fine was officially announced, Vice President JD Vance ripped the European Union for planning to impose the penalties against X.

“Rumors swirling that the EU commission will fine X hundreds of millions of dollars for not engaging in censorship. The EU should be supporting free speech not attacking American companies over garbage,” Vance wrote.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio added, “The European Commission’s $140 million fine isn’t just an attack on @X, it’s an attack on all American tech platforms and the American people by foreign governments. The days of censoring Americans online are over.”

The European Commission’s top complaint against X on Friday is that the social media company allows any user to “obtain the ‘verified’ status without the company meaningfully verifying who is behind the account, making it difficult for users to judge the authenticity of accounts and content they engage with.” The commission said that the Digital Services Act does not require platforms to verify users, but added that the regulation “clearly prohibits online platforms from falsely claiming that users have been verified, when no such verification took place.”

“Deceiving users with blue checkmarks, obscuring information on ads and shutting out researchers have no place online in the EU,” said Henna Virkkunen, the executive vice president for Tech Sovereignty, Security and Democracy.” DSA protects users. The DSA gives researchers the way to uncover potential threats. The DSA restores trust in the online environment. With the DSA’s first non-compliance decision, we are holding X responsible for undermining users’ rights and evading accountability.”

Musk also responded to the commission’s complaint, writing on X that his goal with X’s verification system “was to democratize verification, rather than have it be controlled by a group of biased elites!”

The European Union’s move against X was condemned by the U.S. Federal Communications Commission, with FCC Chair Brendan Carr saying that Europe is “taxing Americans.”

“Once again, Europe is fining a successful U.S. tech company for being a successful U.S. tech company,” Carr said. “Europe is taxing Americans to subsidize a continent held back by Europe’s own suffocating regulations.”

Conservatives have argued that the Digital Services Act is a way for Europe to clamp down on free speech, even for Americans.

“The DSA can impact anyone, can impact content creators and influencers and preachers and political dissidents and any kind of content online can be regulated by the DSA through its architecture,” Dr. Adina Portaru, a senior counsel for Alliance Defending Freedom International, told The Daily Wire earlier this year.

X was given 60 days to inform the European Commission of how it plans to address the issues laid out by the bloc. The social media platform has 90 days to submit an “action plan” to the commission, and the Board of Digital Services will then have one month to issue its opinion and another month to release its final decision.

Michelle Obama blames white people for the fact that black people can’t swim. In an interview promoting her new book called I forgot what — that’s not the title of the book, I just forgot what the title is — the wife of the president who ruined our healthcare system spoke in that condescending, sassy black woman tone of voice that makes all of us love sassy black women so very, very much. She said, “Let me explain something to white people. Our hair comes out of our heads naturally in a curly pattern. So, when we’re straightening it to follow your beauty standards, we are trapped by the straightness. That’s why so many of us can’t swim, and we run away from the water … because we’re trying to keep our hair straight for y’all. It is exhausting, and it is so expensive, and it takes up so much time!”

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Oh, Klavan, you jocular junkie of jovial jokery, where do you come up with these fantastically fanciful satire ideas?” Just the notion that a woman with degrees from both Princeton and Harvard would talk to her fellow grown-ups in that condescending sassy black woman tone that just makes you want to plant a foot of whatever color right in her sassy black buttock and watch her go sailing through the air like a Cameron Dicker field goal attempt from sixty yards out, is totally unbelievable in itself. But when you add to that this ridiculous concept that an unfathomably privileged woman with a net worth of approximately a hundred gazillion Somalis would go on TV with her straightened hair that no white man gives a twitch of a rat’s ass about and tell people that the reason she can’t swim is because white people give a twitch of a rat’s ass about her hair, well, sure, it’s hilarious, but just so totally unreal.

But no, I am not making this up. The wife of the president who reintroduced racial hatred into an American culture that had all but abandoned it, has a new book out called I don’t care what it is — that’s not the title of the book, I just don’t care what it is — and she promoted the book by claiming that her obsession with how white people see her, is the fault of white people who mostly don’t see her at all.

Now, this might actually be a good sales strategy. Michelle Obama’s tone of bitter, entitled, totally unearned self-satisfaction is very popular with liberal women… for some reason. And I’m sure whatever nonsense she spews out will be greeted by those women as a thoroughly welcome change from the nonsense they’re spewing out in a tone of bitter, entitled, totally unearned self-satisfaction.

In fact, the same audience also enjoys Michelle’s nasty remarks about her husband, the former president, who would have gotten away with giving the terrorist nation of Iran a nuclear weapon if Donald Trump hadn’t bombed the living Barack out of their nuclear facilities. For instance, Michelle said there was an entire decade of her marriage in which she “couldn’t stand,” her husband, which may account for the fact that the former president, who managed to lose the war in Iraq after George W. Bush won the war in Iraq, formed a suspiciously close relationship with his male chef — until the chef mysteriously drowned in a pond on Martha’s Vineyard, probably because he was so worried about getting his hair wet, he forgot how to swim. Either that, or it was because he threatened to tell. But probably it was his hair. 

Now, just to be clear, it really is a problem that black people don’t learn how to swim. Black kids drown at around three times the rate of white kids, and it may be because white people don’t like curly hair. Or it may be because too many black kids don’t have fathers, so there’s no one to throw them into the water and listen to their mothers scream, “Oh my God, he’ll drown, and what about his hair?” while the kid happily paddles back and forth, not worrying about his hair because he has a father.

But sure, maybe it’s because of white people.

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This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.”

Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, After That, The Dark, is NOW AVAILABLE. Follow him on X: @andrewklavan.

The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

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