Today is June 6. It was on this day, eighty-one years ago, that 150-thousand men from the United States, Great Britain, and other allied nations, landed under withering gunfire on the beaches of France to begin the brutal process of breaking the Nazi stranglehold on the once-free nations of Europe. It is difficult now to imagine the almost superhuman courage it required for these men to slog through the bullet-riddled surf onto beaches carpeted with the bodies of those who went before them, in order to fight their way inch by bloody inch into the maw of gun emplacements, the destruction of which represented only the first small step toward eradicating the most murderous regime ever to stain the annals of human history. 

And that’s why, every June, we dedicate the entire month to celebrating homosexuality. Well, maybe that’s not why. But there must be some reason. Because that’s what we do.

That’s right, it’s Pride Month, and there is absolutely nothing Americans can be so proud of as homosexuality … apparently. Just think of the progress gay people have made. Homosexuality — once called the love that dare not speak its name — is now, at last, the love that simply will not shut the hell up. It just drones on and on and on. It’s so great. Really, you can’t get enough of it. On and on and on and on. A whole month of it. I mean, most sexual abnormalities, you just politely look away and try to mind your own business. But there’s no chance of that with this one, is there? Nosiree. On and on and on. That’s progress.

And there’s so much progress to be proud of in Pride Month. In the past, for instance, a gay man had to hide in shame. Now he can march down the street in a pride parade, dressed in leather chaps that open behind to expose his buttocks not only to anyone who’s interested but to the many, many, many people who really are not interested in seeing his buttocks even a little bit. Plus he can carry a whip to announce to all the world that he has a trauma-induced sexual fetish that prevents him from having any relationship that isn’t centered on debasement, domination and pain. Then he can proclaim how proud he is about that. Then he can go home and wash down a fistful of anti-depressants with half a bottle of gin and scream “I’m so effing proud,” before pitching face forward onto the kitchen table and sinking into blessed unconsciousness.

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And that’s not even all the progress. Some of you younger people won’t believe this, but it used to be that if a man punched a woman in the face, he’d be arrested. Today, thanks to the LGBTQ movement, if a man wants to punch a woman in the face, he can go to the Olympics and win a gold medal. I was so excited to hear this, I told my wife: I could punch you in the face and win a gold medal! My ex-wife, I should say. Still, it was a great moment.

And there’s even more progress. It used to be, if a man gave homosexual porn to a child, he’d be put in prison. Then he’d be killed by the other prisoners, because no matter how bad their crimes were, they weren’t as bad as giving homosexual porn to a child. Now, thanks to our pride, if a man gives homosexual porn to a child, it’s because he’s a member of a teachers union and has a job in a public elementary school. And man, if that’s not progress, then progress is probably something else. Like progress might be inventing air conditioning or computers or more effective treatments for disease. But no. For us, progress is teachers giving homosexual porn to children.

So this June, think back on that D-Day when thousands gave their lives for freedom. Remember it’s because of them that we can spend the entire month being proud of homosexuality. Because of them, and because our elite culture has become a cesspit of decadent buffoons who have no shame. After all, who else could be this proud?

* * *

This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.”

The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Follow him on X: @andrewklavan

Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fourth installment, “A Woman Underground.” His most recent nonfiction release is “The Kingdom of Cain: Finding God in the Literature of Darkness.” (May 2025, Zondervan/HarperCollins).

Prosecutors say Luigi Mangione kept diaries chronicling in chilling detail his plans to assassinate UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson and revealing he backed off of a mass-casualty attack he had initially conceived.

The self-proclaimed anti-capitalist wrote in his manifesto that he chose to “wack the CEO” rather than bomb the UnitedHealthcare headquarters because he believed it would generate better headlines and be less likely to be deemed “terrorism,” according to court documents revealed this week.

“So say you want to rebel against the deadly, greed fueled health insurance cartel. Do you bomb the HQ? No. Bombs=terrorism,” Mangione allegedly wrote in a red spiral notebook found in his backpack upon his arrest five days after the shooting.

Manhattan prosecutors are confident that this is “open and shut case,” pointing to evidence continuing to pile up indicating that Mangione’s goal was “to send a message.”

In parts of the diaries that had been previously released, Mangione reasoned that someone should “wack the CEO at the annual parasitic bean-counter convention. It’s targeted and precise and doesn’t risk innocents.”

The University of Pennsylvania graduate justified targeting insurance providers because they “literally extract human life force for money,” and seemed fixated on how his actions would be perceived by the public, adding that “the point is made in the news headline ‘Insurance CEO killed at annual investors conference.’ It conveys a greedy bastard that had it coming.”

Mangione expressed relief that he had not followed through with a mass-casualty event, allegedly writing, “I’m glad — in a way — that I’ve procrastinated [because] it allowed me to learn more about UHC.”

“KMD would’ve been an unjustified catastrophe that would be perceived mostly as sick, but more importantly unhelpful,” Magione allegedly wrote of a potential attack in his home state of Maryland.

The accused assassin reportedly came to this conclusion by analyzing the public reaction to Ted Kaczynski, known as the Unabomber.

“Ted K makes some good points on the future of humanity, but to make his point he indiscriminately mailbombs innocents. Normies categorize him as an insane serial killer, focus on the act/atrocities themselves, and dismiss his ideas,” Mangione wrote, apparently having a desire for his act of violence to be as palatable as possible for “normies” to get behind.

The filing adds that authorities found a note, which has been previously reported on, in Mangione’s possession during his arrest at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pennsylvania, addressed to federal investigators.

“To the Feds, I’ll keep this short because I do respect what you do for our country. To save you a lengthy investigation, I state plainly I wasn’t working with anyone,” Mangione wrote, describing his attack as “fairly trivial,” involving “some elementary social engineering, basic [computer aided design], and a lot of patience.”

The note continued with an unapologetic justification: “I do apologize for any strife or trauma, but it had to be done. Frankly, these parasites simply had it coming,” then launching into a sanctimonious rant about the state of health care in America.

“If ever there were an open and shut case pointing to a defendant’s guilt, this case is that case. Simply put, one would be hard pressed to find a case with such overwhelming evidence of guilt as to the identity of the murderer and the premeditated nature of the assassination,” prosecutors wrote regarding the entries.

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg argued that even disregarding the mountains of physical evidence presented in Wednesday’s filing, the prosecution still would have enough to convict Mangione on the terrorism count.

“The shooting itself speaks volumes of the defendant’s intent. Defendant chose to shoot the CEO of the United States’ largest health insurance company in front of the hotel where the company was about to conduct its annual investor conference,” Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg wrote in the filing.

Mangione, 27, faces both state and federal murder and terrorism charges in connection with the shooting death of Thompson in Midtown Manhattan on December 4, leading to a five-day manhunt that ended with Mangione’s arrest in Pennsylvania. Mangione has pleaded not guilty on all charges.

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According to authorities, Mangione murdered Thompson, a father of two young children, in a “premeditated, cold-blooded assassination” as an act of “political violence.”

On the federal level, Attorney General Pam Bondi announced in late May that the DOJ intends to pursue the death penalty in the Mangione case.

Mangione’s attorneys have moved to exclude his writings from the court record, arguing their client wasn’t afforded his constitutional rights when arrested.

Prosecutors responded, agreeing to pre-trial hearings on the admissibility of the evidence, including the red spiral notebook and statements made to police officers.

Mangione is scheduled to appear in court for his state charges on June 26.