There’s been a great deal of talk about the Trump vs. CASA decision at the Supreme Court. This, as you know, is the decision that put restrictions on universal injunctions against Trump administration policies issued by federal judge James Boasberg while Boasberg was wearing a cardboard Burger King crown and spinning around the room with his black robe flung out as if it were a pair of wings and simultaneously singing, “Look at me, mother. I am the ruler of the universe. Everyone look at me.” The court decided six to three along ideological lines that Boasberg should not only quit with the injunctions but also possibly see a mental health professional or at least turn down the volume in order to stop disturbing the neighbors. Boasberg responded to the decision by sitting curled up in a corner and sucking his thumb while still wearing the Burger King crown and muttering, “I don’t care what they say. I’m the ruler of everybody,” but in a much softer voice so the Supreme Court wouldn’t hear him and take his cardboard crown away and make him go to bed early.

The court’s decision was written by Justice Amy Coney Barrett and much of the media attention focused on Barrett’s comments about a dissenting opinion written by Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson. Many felt that Barrett’s response to Jackson’s dissent was derogatory, disdainful, humiliating, sardonic, mocking, derisive, sarcastic, belittling, disparaging, denigrating, contemptuous, taunting and even humiliating — and I know I already said that, but it was so derogatory it was actually humiliating twice, and possibly vice versa.

Now part of the reaction to Barrett’s comments might have arisen from the fact that, during her confirmation hearing, Barrett answered questions with so much precision and expertise that it gave the impression that she’s a highly intelligent woman and also kind of hot in a wonk-girl Catholic mom sort of way, whereas at her confirmation hearing, Ketanji Jackson couldn’t even say what a woman is, giving the impression that she was a DEI hire, selected because she’s a black woman without taking into account the fact that she’s also a functional idiot.

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But here at the Andrew Klavan show, we feel we should take Justice Jackson’s dissent seriously because, you know, that would be funnier. So after spending a great many minutes reading the dissent in depth… I’m not sure exactly how many minutes, but it was a lot. Maybe ten even. I lost count around six or seven. But anyway, after spending a great many minutes studying Justice Jackson’s dissent, I have some important observations.

Jackson dissents to the court’s decision on the grounds that it hides behind a “smokescreen” of “legalese,” by comparing the issues involved in the case to legal precedents in American and English jurisprudence. Instead of this process, sometimes known as “applying the law,” or “judging,” Jackson proposes a different standard called the “sassy black woman” test. In this test, also known as the “Jasmine Crockett standard,” all court decisions and other forms of reasoned discourse must be able to withstand a black woman putting her fist against one upraised hip and saying completely incomprehensible things in an aggressive sing-song voice while leaving the g’s off the endings of her words and using foul language to declare herself entitled to be heard despite the fact that she’s obviously a functional idiot. Furthermore, if said sassy black woman ends said tirade with the words “full stop,” any disagreement will immediately be deemed racist even if it can be shown that it’s not her skin color that’s at issue but only her functional idiocy.

Justice Jackson also writes in her dissent — and this is a real quote, “A Martian arriving here from another planet would see these circumstances and surely wonder: ‘what good is the Constitution?’” This, of course, is a reference to the famous Martian clause in the founding documents of Planet Zeebeegununu in the Ratchet and Clank Solana Galaxy, which declares that the opinions of fictional extraterrestrials should be given priority, because, honey-child, these space aliens are way smarter than a fool like you, full stop. 

All in all, I think we can agree that the Jackson dissent is a mind-bogglingly deep dissent, if you spell dissent d-e-s-c-e-n-t.

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This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.”

Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fourth installment, “A Woman Underground.” His most recent nonfiction release is “The Kingdom of Cain: Finding God in the Literature of Darkness.” (May 2025, Zondervan/HarperCollins). Follow him on X: @andrewklavan

The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

For most American families, the Fourth of July is a joyful celebration — grilling burgers in the backyard, watching fireworks light up the summer sky, and reflecting on the freedoms we’re fortunate to enjoy. We honor liberty, independence, and the founding ideals that shape this country.

For our family, it’s a reminder of the freedom that’s been denied to our son for far too long.

Omer is an American citizen — a kind, optimistic, sports-loving 21-year-old who grew up on Long Island. He was the kind of person who lights up a room, instantly makes new friends, and goes out of his way to include everyone. For over 600 days, Omer has been held hostage by Hamas in Gaza, alongside 49 others. He was taken from his army post on October 7, 2023. And to this day, no deal has brought him home.

The Fourth of July was always one of Omer’s favorite holidays. He loved everything about it — the spirit, the energy, the sense of unity it brought. One of his most vivid memories was joining a small-town Independence Day parade in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, during a cross-country Jewish youth trip. He soaked in the atmosphere — the music, the laughter, the feeling of belonging to something bigger than himself.

Omer had every reason to take a traditional path after high school. He was accepted to SUNY Binghamton and could have started a comfortable American college life. But instead, he chose to serve. He took a gap year in Israel and enlisted as a lone soldier in the Israel Defense Forces. His final post was near the Gaza border, where his mission was to protect nearby civilian communities.

The values we honor on Independence Day — freedom, justice, and human dignity — aren’t just words we say once a year. They are the foundation of this country. And when those values are threatened — when Americans are held by terrorists for nearly two years — they demand more than celebration. They demand action.

Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images

We have witnessed America’s incredible power in recent months. President Trump and his administration have shown that this nation can achieve the impossible when it sets its mind to it. We watched with profound gratitude as they secured the release of so many hostages, including American Edan Alexander. This is what America does — we fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. We are a nation that stands up for the vulnerable. We leave no one behind.

President Trump recently said it’s time to bring all the hostages home — and time for the war to end. We agree. Immense strength has been shown over the past 21 months. Incredible military achievements against Iran, Hezbollah, and Hamas. Now, it is time for that strength to deliver peace.

But peace cannot begin until every hostage comes home.

There is no real end to the fighting in Gaza while 50 hostages remain in underground tunnels, cut off from the world, and while families like ours live in daily anguish. Peace cannot be built on the backs of unresolved suffering.

This is not a partisan issue. This is not just an Israeli issue. It is an American issue — and a human issue. Omer is one of our own, but so are the other 49 souls still trapped in darkness. If we mean what we say when we salute the flag or sing the national anthem, we cannot remain silent while any innocent person is held by a U.S.-designated terror group.

“Peace through strength” isn’t just a slogan. It’s a principle — one that must now lead to freedom for the living, dignity for the dead, and closure for families still waiting. The United States has influence, and it has leverage. It has shown it can move mountains when it chooses to act.

We call on President Trump to press regional leaders, allies, and stakeholders to come to the table and finalize a comprehensive deal. Not in phases, not with half-measures — but a deal that brings every hostage home. A deal that leaves no one behind — not the Americans, not the Israelis, not the Thai workers, not the elderly, not the men — every single one.

Omer is not a symbol or a headline. He is a son. A friend. A teammate. A young man who has always stood up for others. In that sense, he represents the very ideals we celebrate each Fourth of July. And he represents every hostage still waiting for freedom.

So this year, as Americans gather in backyards and parks, as fireworks light up the sky and flags wave proudly — we ask you to think of Omer. And of the 49 others still waiting to come home.

Don’t just wave the flag. Live its meaning. Call your elected officials. Say Omer’s name. Say all their names. Remind your representatives that freedom is not complete until it reaches every corner of human suffering.

Let this Independence Day be more than a celebration. Let it be a declaration of conviction—and the beginning of the end of this nightmare.

Because freedom means nothing if we stop fighting for those who’ve lost theirs.

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Orna and Ronen Neutra are the parents of American-Israeli hostage Omer Neutra.

The views expressed in this piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.